Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Buster Cannon...Of Deliciousness!

On my never ending journey to give myself kidney failure I have tasted a new energy drink. Again I must thank my friend Joe Glading, a Hot Topic employee for giving me the inside information on all the new and tasty drinks that they get on their shelves. I try to go before 6, that's when the scary Scene children arrive and stare into my soul. Seriously, go ride a bike or something you shady 16 year olds! There's plenty of hoops that need pushing down a dirt road with a stick, get on it! Enough of my old man rage, here is the latest drink.
Yeah, you're eyes don't deceive you. That is a Mega Man E-Tank energy drink! Pow! How may I explain the flavor? Hmmm, how does blueberrys and a slight hint of monster sound. But it comes with none of that stingy after taste that you get with Red Bull, yeah, I hate Red Bull. It was so good I bought two. And in my E-Tank fueled state I came up with a list in my head of the 3 craziest Mega Man bosses. Well Crazy in my opinion.

3. Wood Man
I don't see the tactical or functional idea behind creating a cyborg killing machine out of stumps. Doesn't Mega Man shoot concentrated energy? Good luck Wood Man, you're made out of kindling.

2. Bubble Man
Aside from looking like a shitty Gundam suit his choice of weapon is just poor. Bubbles? Yeah, bubbles. My nephew was playing with bubbles the other day, and to my surprise he was not horribly mangled or maimed during the experience. I'm just going to have to guess that Bubble Man is mixing his soap with Arkansas water. They have hard water there.

1. Boomer Kuwanger
What the fuck? Alright, Mega Man X is my favorite Mega Man game. Every boss has some sort of connection between their animal appearance to their powers. Except Spark Mandril, but that can slide. But what the fuck is Boomer Kuwanger? More importantly...just Boomer Kuwanger?! Did you black out and knock your head on the keyboard while coming up with this guys name Capcom? I get it, he's a weird bug-bot, but why not like Steel Beetle? See, just did what you should've done over a decade ago.

Currently Listening To: Fell Down The Stairs -- Tilly and the Wall

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